It doesn’t seem right that one day you would grow up and after 11 years of dreaming to be a parent plus infertility tests galore, your dream is yanked away.

Sitting in the doctor’s office and hearing, “this baby doesn’t have a heartbeat,” was one of the worst days of our lives.

We knew our little one didn’t have a heartbeat 💓, but all we wanted to say was “hello, you matter, we love you, and goodbye.”

Losing our little one to miscarriage felt like a punch to the gut, and it still does to this day writing about it, but I think it’s important to write about.

People want to sweep grief under the rug. Miscarriages always seem like little things that just happen. The gravity of the grief that a new expecting parent goes through is really never truly expressed fully.

Yet I want to write, because I want everyone to know our baby mattered and life will always matter more than things.

We cried, but we cried because we loved.

We decided to bury the child on our family farm, and we went out and bought a small teddy bear for our little one. We named this little one Sammy.

What does it really mean to build up your treasures in heaven?

Our treasure was our little one. It helped us realize that no vacation, no amount of money, and no things can ever bring back to life anyone who has passed away.

Death is certain for all, and death is permanent.

People don’t like to talk about this hard stuff, but I want to write about it. It sometimes helps others grieving when you hear the stories of others and know you are not alone.

I also think society has us “ranking” people. We rank ourselves, we rank our lives, we all do this where we compare to one another on Facebook, Instagram, or other social media platforms.

But a life’s worth and a life’s value cannot be measured in how many toys one man accumulates.

My baby accumulated nothing, but was worth everything even though it brought nothing with it into the world.

And so the verse goes, “For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it” 1 Timothy 6:7.