Holiday Gift Giving Guide

Having just given birth to Zach in October, we are setting some more specific family budget guidelines this year for Christmas presents. Baby Z’s hospital bills just arrived, and his stay cost a total of $2,000.

So with that in mind, we set a budget with these 2 principles in mind:

(1) Sticking to the budget.

(2) Getting the most out of the budget by determining if the gift recipient is a gift QUALITY or gift QUANTITY receiver.

  • As far as setting the budget goes, we decided on a limit of $200 per person for Zach, Stephen, and myself.
  • We also decided it was fine to stick to the budget within +/-10%. We are okay if it’s $180 or $220 as long as it’s roughly within target.
  • Lastly, and this one is huge, to get the most meaningful gifts, we are finding out if the person cares more about the quantity of gifts or the quality of gifts.

I’m reading the book “Know yourself know your money“ By Rachel Cruze who is Dave Ramsey’s daughter.

What I learned from that book is that people have very different ways that they spend money.

Some people only want high quality name brand items, and they are fine with only one gift that is high-quality.

Other people it is all about the quantity. It doesn’t matter how high-quality the item is just the more the merrier.

When Steve and I first got married, we would have so many Christmas arguments, because I thought he was a quantity gift receiver, and he would put items that each were $200-$300 per item on his list.

I frantically would go out and buy everything on his Christmas list and would spend upwards of $2,000 on gifts for him. Yes 🙌 $2,000 and that is not an extra zero.

When I finally figured out he was a quality gift receiver, it relieved some pressure as I learned he was happy with just 1 gift that’s high quality and doesn’t care much about the quantity.

My mother on the other hand is a hoarder, so she doesn’t care what I give her as long as she receives a high quantity of gifts. This obviously is how I grew up and learned to give gifts. Thankfully, I met Stephen and learned there are other more meaningful ways to give gifts, and it really all depends on whether the person likes high quality gifts or a large quantity of gifts.

Hope this helps! Happy Holiday Shopping from us & baby Z.

Net Worth Calculator

Downloadable Net Worth Template

What should your ‘net worth’ be?

Why is it important to know your ‘Net Worth’ and set up a budget and create achievable SMART goals:

Well, we decided it was important because Stephen and I basically didn’t have any financial goals as we looked towards the future. We had saved the 25% down payment for a home, bought a home, were maxing out our Roth contributions, saving in our employer retirement plans, paid off debt, and were trying to figure out what the next step would be. As we scratched our heads staring at one another, we both knew that the one thing we wanted more than anything was ‘financial security.’ We didn’t want to feel this tinge of anxiety that we had always felt about money. We didn’t want to feel fearful of the future always wondering whether or not we would be ‘okay.’

So to get a hold of things, we moved from trying to follow the ‘rules‘ and do the right thing with our finances to building a vision for our family’s finances.

At the same time, I came across the book, “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas Stanley and William Danko. This book is a discussion and an analysis of real life actual millionaires whose ‘net worth’ is over $1 Million. The book surveys these millionaires and ask them what are some rules of life that everyone should live by.

Before reading this book, Steve and I were scratching our heads staring at one another and asking our financial planner (who couldn’t answer any of the questions for us… whether we should be saving, spending, or just taking more vacations – obviously this one is a YES.)

After reading this book we came across the Net Worth Calculator & Goal setter. The book says if you are over 40 years of age, your net worth basically should be:

Net Worth Target = Age * Annual Pre-tax Income / divided by 10.

Although we are not 40 yet, we have used the formula to start setting goals, and started meeting monthly to see where we are at towards our goal, and where we are missing the target.

Follow along with us on our journey at the IG account: financialdaydreamer.

Downloadable Free Budget Template

“Don’t compare your situation to anyone else’s. The cure for comparison is contentment” Rachel Cruze.

Your income is your greatest wealth building tool. So I don’t want you to spend it trying to look good or keeping up with the Joneses.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our culture, and who we spend our time with matters. If we spend all our time with super materialistic people who are looking to “one up” each other and brag about what they just purchased, that can make getting ahead in life financially frustrating if not impossible. Our phones don’t make it easier either as we scroll through Instagram and see who has the newest everything.

Remember money is about so much more than money. Most of how we spend, budget, or don’t spend or budget is about what our beliefs are deep down.

Creating a budget is a good thing and it is a form of self-care and self-love. It is creating a plan for yourself and your family before spending any dollar of your income coming in.

Before our family started using the attached budget template, we thought we were doing a pretty good job of managing our finances. However, when we actually started budgeting, we realized that we really had room to grow.

Starting a budget took a lot of the stress out of finance eventually once we got the hang of it, so you have to trust me to stick with it for at least a few months!!!

The budget gave us a picture of where we really were financially, and not where we thought we were. Sure, we purchased $40k vehicles just like any other American, so we were probably doing good right?!

Wrong!? I had no clue we were also paying $30 a month in interest. That could be monthly date money instead!!! Ugh…we finally got so frustrated, we paid off that $40k truck once we realized it was stealing from our budget monthly in the form of debt!!!

The budget also showed us a roadmap of where we were headed and helped us dream of where we wanted to go.

It gave us the freedom we really needed to communicate what we were spending money on. The budget also gave us the freedom to say ‘no’ to certain purchases we might have said ‘yes’ to without the budget. For me, it gave me permission to tell my friends ‘no thank you,’ I don’t think I’m interested in a Hobby Lobby trip together.

Having a budget now in our marriage has really helped provide a map for our future.

A budget answers two questions: (1) where am I now & (2) where am I headed in the future?

Of course during the first month of budgeting, we absolutely hated it. We couldn’t get our first budget correct to save our lives, so many times we scraped it and gave up. But every time we gave up, we would get back up and start again.

I remember the biggest most heated budget argument we got in was over a very minor detail like what to label budget line items. Should it really be called “fun money” or should it be called “entertainment”, and who gets to allocate funds to the “fun money line?”
We finally just cut out two separate fun money budgets. One for him and one for her. I never felt like I really needed a fun money budget, because I’m so used to just not buying anything & focusing on investing anything left over. However, we agreed that we both need to have money to have fun with as well as save and invest, so we set up multiple pots in the budget.

What your relationship is like with money, and what your parents relationship is like with money determines what your budget roadmap will look like. Too often we don’t budget or save at all because our parents didn’t and the cycle continues. So ask yourself when you set up your budget these two questions and journal 📓 it:

(1) what was your parents relationship like with money? How did they view money?

(2) How do you view money and what is your relationship like because of that view?

Our thoughts & beliefs drive our perspective, which drive our behaviors and actions.

“Remember 80% of finance is behavior and only 20% is really head knowledge to get to your goals” Ramsey.

As we sat down and budgeted together, Steve and I both quickly realized our parents had very different approaches to money.

This is a really important thing to realize if you’re setting up a budget with someone else. Keep in mind that they might view finances very differently from you. Have compassion on each other, because we are all a work in progress…
It really doesn’t matter who you are, your family’s beliefs, relationship with, and values about money get ingrained into your values system.
How they treated money is often how you’ll view money as well.
If your parents spent like it’s going out of style, you’re going to feel entitled to spend, and it will take hard work, determination, and guts to begin to think differently.
Once the budget is figured out though, you’ll realize that the budget is the only way your own finances don’t get stolen right from under you.

Marketing from big companies will always entice you to spend before you budget, but I say budget before you spend at all. Remember your income is your biggest wealth building tool!!

The next thing we also realized when we started our initial budget was that it was missing a line for “unexpected” expenses, and so we set up our next budget by building in some margin for unexpected things that fluctuate month-to-month like gifts or drivers license fees.

Margin in that budget is what, in the long term, will help you build wealth if you don’t spend it all (which you shouldn’t as long as you make sure your expenses are less than your revenues in your budget). Whatever is leftover is your margin.

Over time, margin will add up over several months and that should help you achieve your dreams.

What do you dream about? Do you want to build some margin slowly over time in your budget to purchase a new home? Do you want to use it to buy some investment properties, or invest in some EFT’s or mutual funds. We can all ‘think’ we have margin left over monthly, but really until we start using the good old fashioned budget, it is really hard to see how well we are doing managing our expenses. It is even harder to start building financial dreams too until that budget is set in place! That budget will build freedom. I know it seems very counterintuitive, but I want you to be free to dream and free to build your wealth.

Try out the free budget template and start dreaming!

Fears about investing could prevent you from becoming a millionaire

  • “Compounding returns is the idea that growth drives more growth. That growth can help your money accumulate at a faster rate over time.”
  • In the book “Everyday Millionaires” Chris Hogan says, “The average American pays $509 per month on their car payment. If instead they put that $509 into an IRA, 401(k), or mutual fund monthly, over 30 years that would grow to $1.1 million dollars.”
  • That growth would happen ALL by this technique called the compounding of interest returns.
  • Imagine how much the average American would save on just forgoing the car payment and instead putting all that cash into an asset growth vehicle.
  • I believe now is a time more than ever that young millennials need to get educated and stay informed about their finances.
  • All of us millennials have at least 30 years left that we could continue investing. That means nearly all of us could be millionaires sometime in our lifetimes.
  • Even if our “net worth” falls short now when we are young, we have to start thinking long term. Now is the time to start coming up with a game plan and a strategy for the long term.
  • I know that long term thinking is hard for me. We all want that instant gratification.
  • For me it’s extremely difficult to think long term when I get on Instagram, and I see my friends purchasing hot tubs, pools, putting tennis courts in their yards, engaging in high risk behaviors like Robinhood single fund trades, and then living the high life on IG.
  • But something that has helped me is my new goal to just live a simple life that focuses on loving the people around me.
  • I don’t need to have a flashy new truck, car, or a hot tub in my backyard that sits on 10 acres to live the life I want.
  • The life I want to live is already right in front of me, and what matters is how I love people. How I serve people. How I laugh with and encourage the people right around me to be the best version of themselves.
  • Chris Hogan also says, the average millionaire is not caught up with trying to watch on IG what their friends are purchasing and posting to look like they are living the richest perfect life.
  • He said the two single things that keeps most people from building wealth are:
  • (1) Trying to keep up with their friends and neighbors &

    (2) Waiting too late to save for retirement.

    Here are some of my thoughts on that first concept:

    Social media is a platform that Tedtalk says is designed to buy our attention. The more attention our account gets or we get, the more money Instagram can make.

    So it’s designed to wire us to want more attention from others, to seek more attention, and to give attention.

    The more attention we get, the more money Instagram makes because our account is drawing people to our account that Instagram can make money off of.

    The more we can spend to show we can keep up, the more money Instagram makes and the less money we have in our pockets.

    But let’s get straight to the point, people might post photos that look like they are so rich and wealthy, but they might not actually be feeling wealthy especially if they are spending too much.

    People that are actually wealthy aren’t posting about how wealthy they are on IG (unless they own a business and are actually marketing to you to try and get you to buy something).

    I think we can’t fall into these traps.

    If we do, we hurt ourselves and we hurt our own real wealth building potential. Which means we could be hurting future generations and generations of our family line (I know this from my own family history that I wrote about earlier).

    Next, my my thoughts on waiting too late to save for retirement and investing long term.

    If you are a millennial like me, you are living through and have already lived through some rough economic times, and we have seen lots of market crisis’, volatility, and uncertainty that has led to job loss and/or job insecurity for many of us.

    For millennials like myself, many of us are skeptical to put any of our cash into investments. Partially, because we don’t trust the market having lived through the ’08-09 Great Recession where housing prices plummeted and the stock market crashed.

    As a result, we graduated college right before or during a time when people were seeing significant jobs loss, job insecurity, and income stability.

    I know for my husband Stephen, when he graduated college, he couldn’t find a job for 5 years in his degree. He majored in accounting, but accounting firms were cutting back in 2007 when he graduated, not hiring.

    I only had a different situation because I was lucky. I graduated the top of my class in 2005 right before the recession. I did running start, finished school early, and in some ways got lucky finding a job at a CPA firm right before the recession.

    I saw a lot of the students I went to school with who graduated just a few years behind me not being able to find any jobs other than in retail or other jobs that didn’t require their college degree.

    Fast forward to 2020 and the Covid pandemic. This recession feels a lot like 10 years ago, same song, on repeat, oh yeah expect for without the housing market also crashing.

    Now, we have lived through two major financial crisis in our very short millennial careers.

    It’s no wonder if you are a millennial like me, you are fearful about the market and economy.

    Look at these crazy statistics:

    • Fewer than a third of millennials, often considered those born between 1981 and 1996, are saving in a 401(k) retirement plan, according to Charles Schwab’s 2019 Modern Wealth Survey.

    • “Not even 1 in 5 of us has an investment account. Overall, nearly half of Americans don’t invest.

    • Fewer than a third of young people are saving in a 401(k) retirement plan.

    • Not even 1 in 5 millennials has an investment account.” Annie Nova

    A lot of us feel a lot of fear and anxiety about the market, so we don’t invest, or we don’t invest enough, or we don’t invest soon enough as that fear drives us to keep waiting.

    Many of us pile up cash savings. We board savings instead because we know savings are certain and a hedge against the crippling fear we feel about the uncertain and unstable economy.

    But while fear is driving us to hoard savings, we are missing out on opportunities when we are young to increase our wealth building potential. Our savings in cash won’t keep up with rising inflation, so we need to invest in assets. For many of us our employer sponsored retirement account is an easy way to grow our assets.

    I think it’s so important that we millennials start taking responsibility to get educated on this stuff ourselves.

    A lot of us (like myself) had parents that were educated and took care of everything for us.

    Yet, what I’m realizing now after my dad passed away is that I can’t keep relying on my parents knowledge, and I have to learn these basic money concepts myself now, otherwise when I am older, I may regret it.

    All of us millennials, at our young age, still have so much potential.

    I am hoping we each learn how important time value of money is and don’t fall into the trap that we have to be like everyone else on IG trying so hard to be Insta famous.

    I live a very simple life. When I was 22, I started my very first retirement savings account when I started working.

    I lived in Portland, ORE in an apartment decorated with olive green kitchen countertops from the 1970’s. I drove a Crystler Labarron that my grandma passed away and gave to me. The paint was chipping off the front of the old car that I drove.

    As much as I wanted to buy a new car like all my friends did when I graduated college, I did not.

    My father told me that unless my car broke down, I didn’t need a new car, I needed to put money in my 401(k).

    So I lived in a crummy apartment and drove a crummy car, but I was 22, so I rode in my friends cool cars, and that seemed to help satisfy my need for a nice ride.

    I didn’t make more than $44,000 a year, so I didn’t have a lot to invest, but I put in 10% or $4,400 of my earnings at 22. That small amount has now grown to be 20 times that initial difficult investment through continuing to incrementally save and put just a little in there at a time. It has taken time, but my 401(k) has grown tax free.

    I don’t regret not living as well as I could have when I was younger now. I don’t regret not dating the men that wouldn’t call me back because they thought I was not smart or successful based on what car I drove.

    I know now that a little pain now can yield more gain later, and that’s where my mind is headed now.

    After reading Chris Hogan’s book everyday millionaires, I highly recommend any of my loved ones or friends to read this amazing book.

    Finish the Marathon 26.2 Miles

    Dave Ramsey in his book total money makeover compares baby step 6 | “paying off your mortgage” to running a full on marathon.

    Anyone ever run a marathon?

    I have one time. It took so much training, grit, and determination.

    There were some years I trained, and only could run 18-19 miles before I just hit a wall.

    My nutrition was all off. I got dehydrated, started walking at mile 19, and really told myself in my mind that it was probably “good enough.”

    I could say, “yep, I have run 19 miles to my friends, but I knew in my head that was never my goal!!”

    My goal when I set out training for a marathon was to run the full 26.2 miles. You know what? I could never train for a full marathon on my own. I needed help.

    How I finished my marathon

    I finally finished my marathon all 26.2 miles in Newport Beach, CA May of 2019.

    I didn’t finish because of anything special about myself. I finished that marathon, because I pursued people further along than I was.

    I joined a group of actual marathon runners. All these women had ran a marathon before and were training for yet another 26.2 miles.

    I showed up every Saturday to the training runs, nutrition talks, and runs dedicated to fundraising for children with cancer.

    I had found my “why,” and I had also found my “people” who were there with me helping me finish all my training run miles.

    My “why” was because life is just too short to waste.

    Children had died of cancer, and some were still fighting at the children’s hospital.

    Yet, one couple after losing their 7 year old child, didn’t give up. Instead, they started a marathon training group to continue the memory of their very loved child who died of cancer.

    These parents helped people like me train for a race and taught me how to achieve my dreams, because they knew that their child never would be able to, and they wanted to see others dreams come to pass.

    These training runs were all about people unselfishly helping other people.

    They were about people living life for so much more than just their own selfish pursuit of success.

    I was a hot mess when I first joined this group of runners. My father passed away completely unexpectedly a few months before I joined the group of angels.

    In my grief, I honestly don’t know how I trained and completed this race, but I did it.

    My dad was a marathon runner in many ways. He was one of the most financially fit human beings I ever knew.

    He had done ALL the right things. He paid off two houses. He invested in land, mutual funds, timber, Roth IRA’s, had a pension.

    Yet, God decides each of our fates, and He decides our time to go home. At the age of 64, right when he was getting ready to cash in on that retirement savings, he passed away.

    Just keep running your own race

    I remember wondering how I could ever be a marathon runner like my dad was in the financial world.

    Honestly, the first step for me was I had to BELIEVE in myself and my truth. I had to run my own race. I had to acknowledge that it was okay that my truth wasn’t the same as anyone else’s.

    I learned this the first time I ran past 18 miles and ran 22 miles. My friend in the training group said to me, “I have run marathons many times, and the trick is to run your own pace. You can’t look to the left. You can’t look to the right. You can’t be so focused on who is passing you that you mentally give up your own race. You have to look straight ahead. Look towards your goal, and run your own race. This marathon is for you. It’s for you to run in memory of your father passing away. This isn’t for anyone else.”

    That was a game changer for me. I think I repeated many times when I was running my marathon, “I have to run my own race.”

    I can be a fairly competitive person at times. I wanted to run with the faster women during the marathon, but in order to finish my marathon, I couldn’t. I had to run my own race.

    Now how does all this information about marathon running have to do with finances?

    Dave Ramsey says it best. When you get to baby step number 6: pay off your mortgage, it feels like your running a marathon.

    In order to really finish running a marathon, one has to “know where you are weak, and take action to make sure you don’t fall prey to the weakness. A big part of being strong financially is knowing where you are weak” Dave Ramsey.

    For me, often my own weakness is in comparison. I see someone else using debt to buy the most expensive biggest home, get all the things, the luxury vacations, and I want to do the same.

    I see them buying a house with only a 5% down payment, and I think, can that just be me too?! I want the half a million to a million dollar house too.

    But I’ve leaned that even low percentage interest is still debt we are paying that offsets our potential later on in life. So it’s best not to have.

    “Mortgages are the most expensive debt we all carry. At an interest rate of even 3%, it is a lot of money that gets tacked on in interest every month and year with the time value of money” Hank Coleman.

    That means for each month I’m paying my mortgage, I’m giving money away in interest that I will never see again.

    I am pretty smart when it comes to knowing my numbers, so we have a 20 year mortgage, at 3%.

    Low interest and low number of years, but even at that, we still will pay exactly $127,791 in interest over the life of our home if we decide to make our payments on time and on schedule, not paying any of our mortgage off early.

    Now, for example, my friend in the example with the larger home and smaller down payment will pay over the life of their loan $297,162 in interest.

    Will they make it up some other way? Maybe their house will grow in equity faster because it’s in a nicer neighborhood. Maybe?

    But I need to run my own race. You need to run your own race too.

    I know for us by trying to work towards our goal of paying off our mortgage, in the end it will all work out.

    The feeling of satisfaction we will get by accomplishing our goal can’t be compared to anything else. Right now, I’m just envisioning what that will look like and how that will feel. Changing our future, by having less payments will all be worth while, even if it’s a very lofty long term goal.

    The Year of Humility

    Today is my 37th birthday!!! I am so thankful for all the friends, family, and deep relationships formed over the years.

    Life has been full of lessons for me the last 37 years. Never easy, yet never dull. I don’t know if you can relate?

    Some years have been amazing like the year I met my husband and the year we got married. That was a year of a dream, a hope and a wish that had come true. After years and years of prayer, journaling, meditation, therapy, dieting and dreaming, I finally met my husband Stephen.

    When he asked me to be his girlfriend, a huge double rainbow 🌈 soared above in the sky, and I knew it was a sign that God had promised me good things, and that God would always be true and faithful to his promise.

    The last time before that when I saw a double rainbow was 4 years prior, and the exact day March 25th that I found out my ex-husband was having an affair due to my infertility and would be leaving me soon to start his new family.

    All that to say:

    Some years are years our deepest hopes, dreams, wishes, desires, and miracles come true, and other years are years you feel more like someone gut punched you so hard you’re holding your stomach in so much pain …unsure if you’ll ever be able to rise again.

    Unfortunately, this last year has felt more like the year of gut punch than the year of seeing God’s amazing miracles.

    Anyone relate to 2020 this way?

    I also realize that each year is different….and some of us are even lucky enough to have multiple gut punch years, like my dad passing away, oh and followed by our baby passing away the following year.

    The years when our dreams feel like sand passing through our fingers, are the years that God is preparing us and equipping us. He is building in us perseverance, character, and hope.

    Although, it doesn’t feel that way. It doesn’t feel good to have those you love pass away. It doesn’t feel good to watch all my friends have happy healthy babies, while I still struggle with infertility and miscarriage.

    But God has promised me something and that hope is what I hang on to.

    It took years and years before I saw the last miracle come to pass, and maybe like me you too are waiting patiently for God to show up and intervene in your life. If that’s you too…hang on to this promise:

    “God has made everything beautiful in it’s time” Ecclesiastes 3:11.

    I am done asking God — why?

    I am done asking why did my dad have to pass away? Why was I left? Why did my baby have to miscarry? Why is everyone around me having healthy babies, prosperity, and I don’t have that?

    I don’t know. There is so much I can’t see into the future, but what I do know is God is good all the time, and now my question to God is, What?

    God, what is it that you want to do through me?

    There is always a reason for each season of our lives. Humbling seasons are not bad, nor is someone better than another if their lives have been easier.

    I know for me in this season, God allowed it to bring me to humility and hope.

    I had gone too long really relying on my own strength and wisdom. I had an answer for everything, and a solution to every one of life’s problems.

    However, in the process rather than becoming more beautiful- I honestly became more arrogant. I relied and trusted on my masters degrees, my rise and climb up the career ladder to a VP position (my dream job!!). I worked hard to get there, but that wasn’t what was important to God. The things of man aren’t the things of God.

    The things of this world we think are so special and so important are NOT what God thinks are so special and so important.

    “For it says, God resists you when you are proud but continually pours out grace when you are humble.””

    ‭‭James 4:6‬ ‭TPT‬‬

    “Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud (arrogant) and not to trust in their wealth, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for enjoyment. They should be rich in good works. Generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others” 1 Timothy 6:17

    Consumerism = More Rushed lives vs. Enjoyment and Gratitude in the quiet places

    Sipping coffee and reading this book by pastor John Mark Comer this morning.

    When I started going to John Mark’s church in the suburbs of Portland, ORE, I was only 20 years old. I remember how quickly our church outgrew our little space in Conestoga Middle School in Beaverton, ORE then we had to move to another building across the street in Tigard, OR.

    The church quickly multiplied and became a Mega-Church with thousands of people attending. I never thought I was important at that church, and I didn’t really care, because that’s how mega churches work. I didn’t talk to anyone outside my circle of friends from college at Pacific University that went there with me. I didn’t even talk to the cute young single guys at the church from George Fox, as I heard all the guys attending from that “school” were not “real” Christians. Anyways, not a true rumor….as I am now married to one of the guys I “wouldn’t” talk to from church.

    After reading this book, it helped me realize why I felt unimportant at the mega church.

    At a busy mega church, the pastors are always running around. There are too many services at 6 services a day, and too many people to truly love on them all. There is no time to love on the people attending, tithing, serving, and giving to the church.

    The goal is the vision, and the vision is growth. The more the church grows, the more it can keep growing, and the more people it can hypothetically reach.

    But what I realized reading this book is that mega church’s just continue to perpetuate a lack of quiet time, and a lack of space.

    John Mark left the mega church that he started!! Really, from my outside perspective – it seemed like it was his father Phil and him that got it going in the first place, but he had to leave it all behind to find rest for his soul.

    This Christmas 🎄 has me at home. I’m not in the crowds Christmas shopping due to the pandemic.

    I am moving at a much slower pace, and I’m finding that I have time now to reach out and have coffee or hot apple cider with a friend and share stories with one another.

    When I’m not hurried or rushed, I just have more time for love and to give love to others.

    We are all born with the knowledge of selfishness. No one has to teach us how to be selfish. We just know that we have to take care of ourselves.

    But when we are rushed, hurried, and preoccupied with ourselves, we have no time to be loving to others.

    The world teaches us to go conquer the world. Your worth is based upon your accomplishments and how much you accumulate.

    But is that really the life we want to live?

    I have seen millionaires die at a young age of 65, never having rest for their souls. Working every weekend tirelessly. Never truly resting, always building and forging the pathway forward.

    I saw my own father do this, and so I grew up thinking that this was just “the way.” We work ourselves to the bone and that’s how we know we were successful.

    But is it really the way, or in John Mark’s words does, “success really look a lot like failure.”

    He gives a really good example in his book about how even Jesus had to get away and let himself be still in the quiet place, and there he found rest for his soul.

    Are we a failure if we work less weekends? Are we a failure if we work less Christmas eves?

    OR

    Have the big brands and marketing taught us a lie? Have they really actually caught our attention to believe to truly be happy then we need to get the newest Apple products, new sheets, the best kitchen remodel, nicest house, etc.

    When all we really need is REST.

    My favorite part of his book is this:

    “Sabbath – a spirit of restfulness.

    • Margin vs. Busyness
    • Quiet vs. Noise
    • Deep Relationships vs. Isolation
    • Enjoyment vs. Envy
    • Trust vs. Anxiousness
    • Work as a contribution vs. Work for accumulation
    • Time alone vs. Crowds
    • Delight vs. Distraction
    • Clarify vs. Confusion
    • Gratitude vs. Greed
    • Joy vs. Melancholy
    • Contentment vs. Discontentment” list from John Mark Comer’s book the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

    Building up treasures in heaven

    It doesn’t seem right that one day you would grow up and after 11 years of dreaming to be a parent plus infertility tests galore, your dream is yanked away.

    Sitting in the doctor’s office and hearing, “this baby doesn’t have a heartbeat,” was one of the worst days of our lives.

    We knew our little one didn’t have a heartbeat 💓, but all we wanted to say was “hello, you matter, we love you, and goodbye.”

    Losing our little one to miscarriage felt like a punch to the gut, and it still does to this day writing about it, but I think it’s important to write about.

    People want to sweep grief under the rug. Miscarriages always seem like little things that just happen. The gravity of the grief that a new expecting parent goes through is really never truly expressed fully.

    Yet I want to write, because I want everyone to know our baby mattered and life will always matter more than things.

    We cried, but we cried because we loved.

    We decided to bury the child on our family farm, and we went out and bought a small teddy bear for our little one. We named this little one Sammy.

    What does it really mean to build up your treasures in heaven?

    Our treasure was our little one. It helped us realize that no vacation, no amount of money, and no things can ever bring back to life anyone who has passed away.

    Death is certain for all, and death is permanent.

    People don’t like to talk about this hard stuff, but I want to write about it. It sometimes helps others grieving when you hear the stories of others and know you are not alone.

    I also think society has us “ranking” people. We rank ourselves, we rank our lives, we all do this where we compare to one another on Facebook, Instagram, or other social media platforms.

    But a life’s worth and a life’s value cannot be measured in how many toys one man accumulates.

    My baby accumulated nothing, but was worth everything even though it brought nothing with it into the world.

    And so the verse goes, “For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it” 1 Timothy 6:7.

    The Joy of Blessing others

    “Use your worldly resources to bless others” Luke 16:9

    I haven’t updated my blog posts in awhile, but I felt like it was time today. If you aren’t following me yet, give me a follow at my IG account: financialdaydreamer 😃

    A small bright point in my day today was getting rid of a pair of Brooks shoes and selling them through the app “offer up.” If you’ve never heard of the app, it’s an app that lets you sell your old stuff.

    After my miscarriage, a few months ago, life has felt much darker than usual. Saying that it was a huge disappointment after struggling for years with infertility issues, cysts, PCOS is an understatement.

    My first husband literally left me and had an affair, because I couldn’t get pregnant. So it was pretty devastating.

    However, my mom & my wonderful in-laws told me not to give up on life. To have the courage to keep going. To go, to bless and to do, and to continue to live by the motto, “get back up when life knocks you down.”

    So today I woke up with a wee bit of resiliency, looked through my closet of things, and thought about what could I sell or get rid of that might bless someone else.

    What am I hanging on to, just to hang on to it.

    I pulled out a pink pair of Brooks shoes that I had barely used, and I posted them online.

    The woman who met me at Starbucks to purchase the shoes for $20 showed up with a really old pair of Brooks shoes with holes in the toes.

    She explained that shoes were expensive, and she had been looking for a way to be able to get new shoes for awhile. She smiled when she saw the shoes and said, “my shoes have holes in them, it’s definitely time to get new ones. I love the Brooks, but I haven’t been able to afford new ones for myself with my husband and kids needing them too.”

    Then she tried on the pair of Brooks shoes that I had sitting in my closet for over a year and hadn’t worn more than twice.

    The joy and happiness on her face trying on what to her was a “new” pair of shoes made me feel so joyful! I was happy to give up these shoes, and the closet space, to bless a mama that couldn’t have otherwise had these herself.

    She thanked me profusely for selling the shoes to her.

    It’s so crazy to think how true the statement one person’s trash is another person’s treasure really is.

    We can bless someone so much by just letting go of something we don’t need, but someone else does.

    Why is it that we all get so “attached” to our stuff, money, and possessions, especially when we know we are all Heaven bound someday?!

    I don’t know why?!

    I struggle with it. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have a blog.

    But I think through this journey I have learned that my possessions have all provided to me a sense of “false” security and a sense of “false” control over my life. I can control what happens to my possessions, but I can’t control what happens in my life all the time.

    Getting rid of stuff is a way for me of purging, letting go, and letting it be used for whatever God has purposed for it.

    We live in America and all of us have more resources than people in other third world 🌎 countries.

    As we manage our resources and steward them wisely, we are able to continue blessing others.

    Through selling on “offer up” and buying things on there (saving retail pricing), Stephen and I have saved enough cash to donate thousands of dollars to global missions, and start a new scholarship for students at the University.

    There is so much joy in both giving and also in receiving good gifts from friends.

    We have been so lucky and fortunate to have received many great gifts of food when we have needed it the most.

    When I was sick beyond belief from the miscarriage and on Zofaran and Norco for the pain of the miscarriage, a friend used her resources to bless Stephen and I with Uber eats food.

    It was 9pm and both Steve and I hadn’t eaten all day. Steve and I were both incredibly blessed beyond our understanding by just that one Uber eats burrito our friend purchased for us during a really rough night.

    It’s really true what Joyce Meyer says, “spend a little, give a little, and save a little” and that’s all you need to do to continue Heaven’s economy.

    We know we will get pregnant again. We know our little one isn’t with us, but is up in Heaven now, and we know that all things work for the good of those who Love God & others.

    Keep praying. Keep Giving.

    Love,

    Sarah Grace

    Self Control Training takes time

    When I ran my first marathon race (26.2 miles), I didn’t get there going from sitting on the couch one day to running a full marathon the next day.

    Nope, it took time, training, and a program called the couch to 5k. With this program, we ran only as far as our bodies physically could allow us to (about 90 seconds when you’re just getting started), and then you would walk for 30 seconds. The theory behind the program was that our bodies could not go from no activity, hence the “couch” in the statement, to a full 5k (or 3 miles).

    What I have realized with this spending freeze, is it feels very similar to the couch to 5k program. As much as I want to go a full 365 days without spending money on anything, there are just some things that get me.

    For me, it’s homegoods. I shouldn’t have even walked inside a homegoods store today, but I did, and I bought some candlesticks and salt and pepper shakers.

    It felt good just to get something small for myself. That’s when I realized, it felt similar to those small breathes of air during the couch to 5k program.

    So I thank God that I am a runner, and I know that I can only push myself so far.

    That’s when I realized the perfect pace to set for the spending freeze was 15 days. I will go for 15 days at a time, then have 1 day unfrozen before going back to the freeze for 15 more days.

    I am going to try this pace for as long as I feasibly can.

    Buy things that will make you more $

    After spending the day cleaning out my grandma’s house, that was then later passed down to my father, and later will go to me, I realized that the best thing we can do is not spend any money.

    The best thing we can do to preserve our cash, is not spend money on merchandise. Sure, buy things for self care like shampoo, soap, deodorant, makeup, and hair care, but there is no point in buying merchandise.

    Instead, save your money, so you can buy something that will provide you with a passive income stream.

    The last year, Stephen and I have been trying to save $ money, to be able to invest more. We have already been saving 15% in our retirement plans for years. I started investing at 22, and decided that we wanted to maximize the amount we invested this year.

    Cleaning out our family’s extra home, made me realize, all the stuff I think I “need.” I don’t.

    Half the stuff my dad had been holding on to either had dust or spiders on it, and it went to the dump. All of that stuff was SO important to my grandma and to him when they were alive, but now it’s all going to the dump.

    We dumped 5 trailers and truckloads. Wow 😮 some good that hoard of stuff did for the next generation?!

    It all made me realize that life itself is so short, and we have to make the most of it.

    Life is so much more than material possessions!!!

    God has us here for some reason, and his reason is always to love or care for someone.

    Sometimes the most loving thing a person can do for his/her family members is NOT leave them a boat load of crap to take to the dump or to pick spiders out of, but to live life simply and clean.

    Above is a photo of us starting our fifth dump run.

    Day 12 & 13 – Use your creativity to fix things you don’t like rather than buy new things

    Get Creative

    Have you ever noticed what you can do with what you have without spending a dime?

    Look for photos on Pinterest of things that inspire you and wake you up to joy

    Needless to say, day 12 and 13 of the anti-spending freeze had me feeling pretty edgy. I felt on the edge emotionally. I would spend time online looking at the exact fireplace mantles I wanted, and telling myself, “no, not today.”

    Things at work were overwhelming and difficult. There are always more people with immediate needs that need help than I have the hands to give. I felt depressed not being able to change anything in my life on the spending freeze.

    I thought, if I could just buy something that would make my living room look prettier, nicer, than I would feel better.

    We will all have our mind play tricks on us when we are hungry and starving, but we just have to keep going.

    What kept me going and brought more energy than I could imagine was getting creative.

    I had pinned all these beautiful living rooms that I wanted mine to look like. I couldn’t afford anything in those pictures, or to redo my living room, so I got creative.

    Remember that creative energy we all had as kids? It told us cardboard boxes were cars, and we could fly if we just imagined.

    Ok, so I didn’t make a bunch of cardboard box decorations, but I got brave. I repainted furniture white that I didn’t like the dingy old maple color of. That was a super cheap fix, and made me happy without hitting a retail store.

    I also rearranged all the furniture in my living room and created more open spaces, shampooed my carpets, so they smelt nice and clean and felt good on my toes to walk on.

    I felt better after I cleaned my house. I got rid of clutter and stuff I didn’t need. It just made me feel better.

    Guess what, after cleaning and decluttering, I didn’t have to shop to feel better.

    I didn’t look online thinking there was so much more I needed; instead, I just felt happy. I took a deep breath looked at my re-arranged furniture inspired by Pinterest, and my shampooed carpets and said under my breath, “thank you Jesus. Thank you for all you’ve already given me. I do not need more. I need to get creative with what I do have.”