Today, I made $30.

I had two home decorations that I bought about two years ago.

I thought, I haven’t used these in a year, so why don’t I sell them on Offer up.

I was so excited when something that I no longer needed could bring someone else, so much joy.

She found a great deal on two home decorations. I got rid of clutter and made $30.

As a general rule of thumb, if I haven’t used it in a year, then it’s OK if I sell it and let it go.

I might love it. It might be name brand, but it could also bless someone else, if I just let it go. Sometimes, I just have to let stuff go and let it move on to the next home.

The sale was a total win-win. She was so excited that she got a good deal, and I was excited that I got rid of some clutter in the house.

I never realized that going on a spending freeze would send me on a spiritual journey, but with cutting shopping for clothes out of my life, I had more time to think about life.

I started asking myself: What’s the purpose of my life? Why am I here?

As I asked myself those questions, I gazed at the old buffet table that my grandma used to own. After she passed away, I brought the buffet table home, repainted it, added new knobs to it, and now it’s mine.

It made me realize that eventually all that I have in my home 🏡 will be someone else’s too, so how can I keep what I have in good shape that way my family doesn’t one day have to re-do all that I own.

It also made me realize how funny fear is.

Humans fear not having enough money. This fear leads to anxiety.

It causes us to hold on to all we own with a tight grip while we are alive, until one day, someone else or the IRS gets all that we owned while alive.

After my grandma passed away, she owed estate taxes. A lot of what she held so tightly onto went to the IRS, to the tune of millions.

In the end, I as her grandchild, inherited one small buffet table after she passed away, and a whole lot of tears.

She gave nothing to her grandchildren, but sent plenty away in taxes. I guess that’s why they say, one thing is for sure in life, death and taxes.

She could have given away some of her estate to her children or grandchildren before passing, but in the end, she chose not to give anything away. She chose to pay a large amount of estate taxes instead of giving anything to her children and their children before the end of her life.

It made me realize, although, I can’t time my own death, I would rather give now.

I would rather be remembered as the person who gave than the person who hung on so tightly to all that I owned for myself.

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It got me thinking more, how can I bless others?

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How can I buy things that will bless the people I love most, so they will remember my kindness when I am gone?

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In the past I might have dreaded parties, baby showers, or celebrations knowing I would have to buy a gift, and that would cost me money.

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That mindset was rooted in the mid-belief that there was only a set amount of money in the world and if I gave what I had away, then there wouldn’t be enough left for me.

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However, that’s simply not true. Heaven’s economy is limitless.

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God will provide all you need and you’ll have plenty left over to share with others.

2 Corinthians v 9:8

“And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.”

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Now, I think I don’t need so much for myself, and I am ok if I give something away now because I know more good gifts will always be in my future.

I don’t need to buy more stuff. I am on a spending freeze, and with what I do have, I can use it to bless others and be a blessing to someone else in need.

Now, before I buy something, I start to ask myself, is this something I really need now or can it wait a week?

I know there are some things I need now, but there are also some things I don’t need at all, and in the moment, I think I need this now.

In hindsight looking at the amount of excess I have in my home and closet, I realize that if I had only waited one week before I purchased the item, I probably would have come to the conclusion that I didn’t need it at all.

So that’s what I encourage you to do this week, before you spend, wait a week and ask yourself whether or not you really need it.

Think about how your funds could otherwise bless others if you had any left over from not spending it on yourself.

I know that there are real needs and things we have dreamed about owning too. Usually, those things we still want after a week. Usually, those are also things that are valuable and could be passed down to others and not a simple impulse buy. That’s how to tell the difference, is it something that can be used later by someone else, or is it something that likely should just remain on the store shelf?

A funny thing started happening to me about 7 days after deciding to go on this spending freeze. Recall that it all started after I went on a long vacation to Winthrop, right after three back to back Board of Trustees meetings, and I paid my credit card statement late. I felt so frustrated with myself for paying that statement late. Luckily, it was my first time, and due to the guidance of my hair stylist, I called my bank, and they decided to waive all fees and penalties since it was a first time offense. Oh God bless my hair stylist Lauren!

Yet, it really shook me up, and made me realize that I had been moving and working at the pace of a whirlwind. I had been doing a lot of things and moving quickly, but really too quickly to think about what I was doing.

To slow my pace down, I knew that a spending freeze was needed in order to help me get my priorities straight and re-focus myself back on what really mattered most. I spent much of the extra time that I would have spent online shopping journaling, talking to God, and spending time with my husband.

I didn’t go on a freeze because I had to.

It wasn’t because either my husband or I were financially irresponsible. We saved and had a relatively short loan period for our mortgage. However, one thing we were so focused on in our life was “revenue growth.”

We were really good at finding ways to try and grow revenues through passive income, such as dividends, interest growth through the time value of money, etc. Yet, one thing we had utterly failed on is “expense management.” There are always two sides of the equation.

Net Worth at the end of the day is “Net” worth. It’s what are all your assets less all your liabilities. In accounting terms, and as a CPA, this is just jargon, but it basically means what is the fair market value of your home, land, IRA’s, investments, retirement accounts, less any debts that you owe.

We each have one life to live here on earth.

We can live it however we want to live it.

I found though more joy, happiness, and appreciation in NOT spending than I ever did in online shopping and looking for new and more things.

Appreciation

“Be Joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16

What I never thought would happen during my spending freeze is that my heart would actually change.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s only been 7 days, how much could change? But it did change. My heart changed in just 7 days of not spending.

I went from trying on brand new Chaco’s at an outdoor adventure store the week before, to looking down at the Chaco’s I already owned that I was wearing on my feet and thinking, wow, I am so thankful I have these Chaco’s. These are such comfortable shoes, and just perfect shoe for the Pacific Northwest.

Now, how did I go from one day researching Chaco colors, to the next day looking at the one’s I already owned and appreciating them.

When I had less, I appreciated more. That appreciation brought me more joy as I became thankful for what I had. Even old furniture pieces I had, rather than buying new ones, I painted them and made them better. Appreciating what I had rather than looking for what I didn’t have.

I changed my thoughts from looking always at what I didn’t have. I changed my thoughts from focusing on what I needed to get to improve my look or style from thinking about what I lacked, from pointing out all the ways I didn’t measure up, to thinking about all the ways I could be thankful for what I did have already.

I believe this is why those children in Cambodia that I met in the orphanage were filled with so much joy when we met them on our mission trip. They had so little. No security that wealth and riches bring, but they had such great joy over just getting one new outfit that year.

When my dad passed away:

When my dad passed away three years ago, it was a confusing time. My heart was full of grief, sadness, anger, and I just wanted all of those feelings to go away. My mom felt bad for me and my brother. She gave us gifts of money. All within the appropriate gift tax thresholds. She felt bad for her grieving kids, and thought money would likely solve our sadness. The funny thing is right after my dad passed away, my mom realized that all that she had, and all she had accumulated on earth, couldn’t be taken with her to heaven when she passed away. Just like my dad couldn’t take any of his wealth with him to Heaven either.

She realized this for the first year after my father passed away, and slowly, the years passed, and we all forgot as we went back to the daily grind of life.

A self-evident truth about money is “money is strange stuff indeed. It has the power to do good in a number of ways, it can alleviate anxiety and provide security” Denis Clifford.

I think this quote starts perfectly. Money can do good. We hang on to as much of it as we can rather than giving it away, because money gives us a sense of security.

Having enough money reduces our anxiety levels.

But who is to say whatever is “enough” money. If we pay off a small house, then we want yet again an even larger and bigger house.

If we pay off our car, then it’s time to upgrade our luxury vehicle again.

This is why I believe as long as we are on earth, money also has the power to destroy and corrupt us through greed, and that little desire to always want and need MORE.

That is why we have to learn to be generous, not hoard things or value things over people.

As long as we are on earth, we have the ability to live generously and to decide and determine what we spend our money on and who it goes to.

Not so much can be said for the dead or the “unliving.” At the end of our lives someone else always ends up with all we have accumulated. That’s why I try to live my life accumulating less, spending less, and being generous with others.

I want to use my money wisely, give generously where I can, because I know that I am only just passing through on earth. Just as my father, my grandfather, and grandmother were just passing through. I too am just passing through.

Cleaning out an old house

I spent 16 hours cleaning out my father’s house when he passed away. What I realized is that no one wanted any of the belongings that meant so much to him. I don’t think anyone was going to re-use the unopened box of Hanes underwear in his dresser.

Neither myself, my mom, my husband, or brother wanted the undies or quite frankly any of the other things he had accumulated. They were special to him, and to his journey and life on earth, but not things any of us wanted or needed.

In the end, we took three trailers full of stuff to the dump. We spent countless hours cleaning the kitchen, and really, it just reinforced to me more that my life is not my own. I may be a human living on earth, but I am just passing through, and the wisest way to pass through is to find a way to leave a legacy to those left behind.

I never knew that some of the darkest days of my life would be during COVID-19. This pandemic has created more fear, more anxiety, and more depression than I ever realized possible.

When my first husband lied to me and left me, I remember going into the bathrooms at the county courthouse, and just staring at the wall…staring, crying, feeling all my feelings of sadness, sorrow, and despair, wondering why life had to be this way. I felt so cheated.

The emotional exhaustion of all the decisions I had to make at that moment felt overwhelming. Somehow, I haven’t felt that way for the last 6 years since my divorce, but COVID 19 has brought back many of those same anxious emotions I felt walking through my divorce when my first husband had an affair, lied to me, cheated on me, and stole someone else’s wife.

Before this pandemic, I felt so much hope. We were planning for the future. Hoping for kids and a family…They say as long as you have a back up plan, you can never be stressed.

With both my husband Steve and I’s jobs possibly on the line during the layoffs and financial turmoil of COVID-19, we both felt stressed. We gave up hopes of starting our family, becoming a mom or dad someday, or buying a new home on a lake for our someday family.

Both our companies had pay cuts.

Steve’s went down 5%. Mine down 8% through a retirement contribution program. At one point Steve’s pay was cut as much as 20% for one month.

We both put a ton of money into our home to have more than half of it paid off, but if we both lost our jobs, then what? How could we afford our mortgage then?

We couldn’t just move to a smaller more affordable house because the housing market sky rocketed and homes were now selling 30% more than we bought our house for on the west coast.

We didn’t have a back up plan. We didn’t have a side business, or a side huddle. The business & LLC that my family ran was running itself into the red during Coronavirus. As a CFO, a CPA, and an MBA, I wanted to help them generate profit. I tried to explain to them how they could have made a net profit the year before the pandemic, but none of my family members wanted to listen to me. They felt I was young, childish, still the baby of the family, and wouldn’t listen to any of my advice (even though it wasn’t my advice, it came from someone else who had done it before). Thus, with that plan not happening, we had no back up plan for our lives.

When the economy is good, our lives are overall less stressful. Everyone is more stressed when the economy is performing poorly.

Before the pandemic, if our jobs were miserable, our pay was cut, and we are working 70-80 hours a week, we always felt less stressed, because back up plans were easy to find. Friends were making tons of money on side Hussles selling makeup and supplies from Arbonne, beauty counter, Rodan Fields, etc. and then there were always tons of other jobs hiring and eager to hire new talent.

During the pandemic recession, all bets were off.

I knew I had to change something. Many people were working from home during the pandemic, safely on their laptops, my husband being one of them. I was an essential employee, so back to the office during the pandemic it was for me.

I knew with the financial crisis, changing jobs to make more money after the pay cuts wouldn’t be an option, so I decided instead to start a spending freeze on my personal budget.

Yep, I decided to try and freeze my spending for the next year.

No clothes, no shoes, no more house decorations, no more non-essential purchases, no purchases of alcohol this year, and I want to see how this year of less for me will feel. I will still buy food, toiletries, and soap as needed, but gone are the days of shopping for merchandise (at least for this year).